Sunday, October 25, 2009

Have you ever had one of those days??

Have you ever had one of those days??? A simple enough question I guess, But the real question to me is have you had one of those years??Today started out great I talked to my dearest friend in the world till almost 5 am. After chatting all night I went out to start the pickup so I could get smokes. Simple right? ya well umm ya... Damned pick up battery was dead.Well being me and being a little dinged up (had a horse wreck kinda mess me up)I said screw it and started walking, hell it is only a half a mile or so.So i am walking in the dark in a small cow town and i limp so i look drunk and here comes the sheriff.yup you guessed it field sobriaty test.That danged sheriff decided to make me stand on one leg we all know the test, well i have a possible fractured hip and or back thats not so easy..Then this bull scroddum of a human asks "Sir have you been drinking?" well i wasn't going to lie."Yes sir I did , the last one was about 4 hours ago." sheriff says "Do you feel intoxicated sir? Will you blow into this please?" Stupid me says "DONT YOU HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO LIKE KEEPIN THE TEEN KIDS FROM GETTING LAID INSTEAD OF PICKEN ON ME? WHY DON'T U GO STOP THE BLOOD THIRSTY BUMS FROM SLEEPIN?"Yup you guessed it again in the back of the car i went.The little cop shop looks like it is right out of mayberry rfd.I go in and there is a cop i have known for years and we have gotten along ok but he is still a cop lol.The sheriff turns out to be a rookie I hear as the old cop questions the reasons i was brought in.Ya it was d i p and being rude to a peace officer.The second charge i have never heard of before not in that context anyways.So mr. rookie as i now call him asked me if i wanted a blood ,urine or breath test. The old cop looks at him and flat says dont let him have the urine test he will piss on your shoes.(awe youth was so much fun to rember till you have to relive)The mr rookie finally says "I think we will have to give him a blood test my breathalizer needs to be recalabrated i think". Old cop asks why? "well he only blew a .06 on it but look he is drunk and balligerent"I am sitting there just laughen to my self knowing whats comeing. The old cop brings out his breathalizer and a back up and makes the mr. rookie get his.I blew three times all lower than the limit.The old cop calls me by my last name and says "you have any injuries that we need to be aware of?" and tell him about the horse wreck.The old cop looks at the rookie"Didn't that help you at all with the field test to know?" rookie starts squirmming like a virgin on her prom night"I forgot to ask that question."The old cop says to take me home and report right back...So now it is 8 am still no smoke back home and wondering if i even want to go out the door.Yeah it has been one of those days.

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1 comment:

  1. Is it time to quit smoking yet?? LMAOOO... You poor man you. But hey, at least Mr. Rookie didn't give ya a strip search!!


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